abstract Artists picasso recommendation post

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For anyone experienced with art (teachers, students, anyone) Please read.?
Hey guys, I would really appreciate your help. There is no question, as such, because I don’t want a single answer. What I want is your help, reassurance, response, opinions, anything you wish to say. It may seem like it goes on a bit, but please read, it is all relevant. I never did art as a subject (except for of course, when it is obligatory in the junior schools, up until the beginning of highschool). I always LOVED art, and (I do not mean to sound boastful/egomaniacal) I was the best in the school at the time, regularly charged with making backing pieces for school plays and other events. When you are good at art in this environment, where not many others are, whatever you make/draw, usually a big deal is made out of it (I’m sure a lot of you can relate). When I went into secondary school/highschool, I had to choose my subjects. For some reason I did not choose art. I don’t know why. Maybe it was some psychological reason, instilled in me since childhood, that I always thought I wasn’t good enough (despite art being what I was best at). Maybe it was the opposite, that I thought I had ‘conquered’ (for want of a better word) art and wanted to try new things. Maybe someone said something nasty to me. Maybe I was following others. I really don’t remember. It could have been anything. I continued doing abstract Artists picasso art a little, tiny bit here and there, on my own.As you know, studying art in secondary school means studying art history as much as ‘doing’ art. Not choosing art as a subject meant I missed out on this aspect. It also meant, therefore, that my knowledge of art history and artists was limited to the common preconceptions.i.e Picasso is untouchable, Van Gogh was a genius, Da Vinci is the greatest etc.Furthermore, it meant I never knew the amount of hard work it took for these people to get to where they got. Subconsciously, I was presuming these people were superhuman and I slowly developed the misconception they were born with paintbrushes in their hands, and whatever they touched turned to gold. My knowledge, thoughts and beliefs connected to art was limited to this, then. For me, this was art. You have to be a ‘genius’ to be an artist, if not, don’t try.It meant whenever art was mentioned, I froze up. I got uncomfortable because, in my mind, since I was not regularly painting masterpieces, since I was not born an artistic genius, since I was not a child prodigy, I was incapable of art. I was petrified whenever I picked up the pencil to draw. Anything I did draw was ‘crap’ in my eyes, even if it was a genuinely good drawing. I couldn’t conceive the idea that I might actually be able to produce something decent artwise.Now, I’m one week away from turning 18. Ironically, I did end up in art college, where I am currently half way into my first year. But I find all the old thoughts and beliefs coming back. I am working on a brief at the moment, it is pretty straightforward. The first part requires you to gather items connected with a certain theme. For example, one theme is Food. ‘Consider these themes as broad starting points for your work’. We are then asked to think of things connected with that theme, to be as abstract as you can. An example given: “Is petrol a kind of drink for a car?” And yet, whenever I think of my own idea, another thought manifests itself in my mind. The thought that this idea is not good enough. Would a ‘genius’ artist like Picasso think of this? So I try to come up with radical, bizzare ideas, ones which generally are devoid of logic. Ones which may seem impressive and interesting, and maybe could make sense if thought about for long enough, but are too far removed from logic and too awkward when you try to fit them in with the theme. They just don’t really fit. When I come up with ideas that possess logic, they are less extravagant. They make sense, but are more normal. They are more simple and clearer. Then I start thinking they are TOO normal, that other people have much, much better ideas than me. I would really appreciate anything you have to say, advice or reassurance or anything, in response to what I wrote above.
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